Our reporters have no idea what they're about to read off their Teleprompter. If they laugh, they lose.

The only news team that doesn't know what they're about to read is back with an alarming teen trend.

Mary Holland and Grant break stories on a mascot update and a hot new celebrity power couple.

Grant & Raph report on rabies babies. Zac Oyama shows how many marshmallows can fit in his mouth.

Patrick reveals he's Mrs. Butterworth's loving husband while Lily reports from inside your anus.

The new crew brings you the latest on rightwing potato toys, stolen big fat asses, and Meryl Streep.

Title says it all.

Alfred hunts for a key out of the spaghetti factory. Lily sings a Danny Elfman song.