Very Mary-Kate

Moving Out

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January 31, 2010 • 1m

1x1

I get a new place. Ash looks totes fugly - ugh - I mean tired in this one. Wardrobe provided by Donna Karen.

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Moving Day

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January 31, 2010 • 1m

1x2

My bodyguard is responsible for everything related to my body, including moving the stuff I surround my body with.

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Bodyguard

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January 31, 2010 • 2m

1x3

Got legit sick filming this. Didn’t sleep for 48 hrs. Not cuz of drugs, you haters, b/c I’m an effing method actor.

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Baby

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January 31, 2010 • 2m

1x4

I consider getting a baby. At least I think that’s what happens. It’s been a while since I read the script.

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Baby Daddy

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February 8, 2010 • 2m

1x5

Bodyguard flat out refuses to be my daddy baby, so I flat out threaten to steal his sperm.

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Depressed

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March 1, 2010 • 2m

1x6

I’m tired of waiting around for that special someone to have a baby for me.

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Hangover

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March 1, 2010 • 2m

1x7

I learn never to drive drunk. Especially when driving a blimp.

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Fight

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March 1, 2010 • 2m

1x8

I know to get emotional when the piano music kicks in.

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Philip Seymour Hoffman

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March 13, 2010 • 2m

1x9

I get acting lessons from the Academy Award-winning creep-o.

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Cat

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April 4, 2010 • 1m

1x10

I decide to get a cat rather than have a baby because it’s more expensive.

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Back to School

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April 4, 2010 • 2m

1x11

I’m going back to college to get my The Bachelor degree.

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Extension

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April 11, 2010 • 1m

1x12

Can I have an extension on that paper I have to write? I have to learn how to write.

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Paper

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April 11, 2010 • 1m

1x13

I ended up getting an “F” for “F”-ort.

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Crush

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April 18, 2010 • 1m

1x14

It’s just a little crush and I throw up a little every time they touch.

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Ashleyguard

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April 18, 2010 • 2m

1x15

But Ashley doesn’t have nipple hair!

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Nightmare

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April 26, 2010 • 2m

1x16

Quiet, Evil Dragon, I’m trying to write a description!

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Zac Efron

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April 29, 2010 • 2m

1x17

A date with Zac Efron? Zac Ef yes!

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Philip Seymour Hoffman 2

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May 3, 2010 • 2m

1x18

Is this about all those blimps I crashed? Because I keep telling you guys, I don’t care.

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Gun

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Season Finale

May 3, 2010 • 2m

1x19

Do you feel lucky, Bodyguard? Are you a Luckyguard?

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Recap

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October 12, 2010 • 3m

2x1

OMG you guys! I’m back! Did you miss me?

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Clone

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October 14, 2010 • 2m

2x2

Comet is back! Thank you, science!

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Cheating

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October 19, 2010 • 3m

2x3

Cheating is so hard! I need to learn how to cheat at it.

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Woody Allen

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October 21, 2010 • 2m

2x4

Amir guest stars as Mary-Kate’s Godfather.

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Trick-or-Treat

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October 26, 2010 • 1m

2x5

Tricking is less calorific than treating.

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Hoffmoween

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October 28, 2010 • 2m

2x6

Phil Hoffman’s scariest as himself.

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Excuses

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November 2, 2010 • 2m

2x7

My dog ate this video description.

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Presentation

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November 4, 2010 • 2m

2x8

The best presentation in the history of history class.

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Driving

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November 9, 2010 • 3m

2x9

Learning to drive is as easy as eating pie. It’s very hard.

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Woody Allen 2

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November 11, 2010 • 2m

2x10

Where there’s a will, there’s a way too talkative.

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Naked

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November 16, 2010 • 2m

2x11

Bodyguard’s in his birthday suit.

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Fired

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November 18, 2010 • 2m

2x12

Bodyguard gets a pink slip. Oooooh, pink!

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Hired

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November 23, 2010 • 2m

2x13

One girl’s trash is another girl’s bodyguard.

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Photo Shoot

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November 30, 2010 • 3m

2x14

A face that only her sister could love.

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Bath

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December 2, 2010 • 2m

2x15

Rub-a-dub-dub, Ashley wants some love.

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Presentation 2

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December 7, 2010 • 3m

2x16

I put my Louisiana Purchase on my Amex.

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Conference

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December 9, 2010 • 2m

2x17

Bodyguard and Professor go head-to-fat-head.

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Sexy Time

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December 14, 2010 • 2m

2x18

Ashley won’t take gross for an answer.

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Sick

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December 16, 2010 • 2m

2x19

It’s not bulimia when you haven’t eaten.

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Confession

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December 21, 2010 • 2m

2x20

Mary-Kate gets D and dirty with G almighty.

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Church

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December 28, 2010 • 3m

2x21

The lord is my shepherd, but lambswool makes me itchy.

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Vegas (1)

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January 4, 2011 • 3m

2x22

We don't have an overview translated in English. Help us expand our database by adding one.

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Vegas (2)

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January 6, 2011 • 3m

2x23

We don't have an overview translated in English. Help us expand our database by adding one.

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Vegas (3)

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January 11, 2011 • 3m

2x24

Deserts are even scarier than desserts.

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Vegas (4)

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January 13, 2011 • 3m

2x25

Mary-Kate tweets her way to safety.

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Gold Rush

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January 18, 2011 • 3m

2x26

Is a gold rush when Tiffany’s has a sale?

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Presentation 3

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Season Finale

January 20, 2011 • 3m

2x27

Always present on an empty stomach.

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Raise Your Hand

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December 1, 2011 • 3m

3x1

I can’t raise my hand. I’m allergic to effort.

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Magazines

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December 8, 2011 • 2m

3x2

Magazines are sooo heavy. Especially the ones with pictures of fat people.

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Jetlag

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December 15, 2011 • 2m

3x3

Can’t sleep? Count sheepskin boots.

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Santa

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December 22, 2011 • 3m

3x4

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house… I was shuffling around chain smoking and trying on different shoes.

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Presentation 4

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January 6, 2012 • 3m

3x5

War – what is it good for? Cute uniforms.

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Jewish Looking Girl

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January 12, 2012 • 2m

3x6

She’s a rock star of David.

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Layers

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January 19, 2012 • 2m

3x7

It’s freezing cold under all these layers.

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Call My Phone

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January 26, 2012 • 3m

3x8

Sing along! Actually no, just find my phone.

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Trenta

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February 2, 2012 • 2m

3x9

Start the morning with a gallon of joe.

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Evil Dragon

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February 9, 2012 • 3m

3x10

It’s always the bodyguard you least suspect.

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Police

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February 17, 2012 • 3m

3x11

I fought the law and the law was a jerk face.

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Mug Shot

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February 23, 2012 • 3m

3x12

Is this the duckface of a criminal?

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Jail

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March 8, 2012 • 3m

3x13

Mary-Kate deals with life in the slammer.

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Dishwasher

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March 15, 2012 • 3m

3x14

Mary-Kate loves shiny appliances! And by that she means sweaty laborers.

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Pillow Talk

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March 22, 2012 • 3m

3x15

Mary-Kate and Bodyguard may have effed up and effed.

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Sex and Sexuality (Very Maggie Smith)

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April 1, 2012 • 3m

3x16

Butler stays abreast of Maggie Smith’s love life.

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Sleeping in Class

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April 5, 2012 • 3m

3x17

Mary-Kate goes to sleep to the soothing sounds of a yelling professor.

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Professor’s Presentation

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April 12, 2012 • 3m

3x18

Mary-Kate sabotages Professor in front of the school board.

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Slumber Party

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April 19, 2012 • 2m

3x19

First one to fall asleep gets a hand in warm Pellegrino.

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Pills

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April 26, 2012 • 3m

3x20

Take once per day with a picture of food.

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Comet

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May 3, 2012 • 2m

3x21

Mary-Kate’s cat meows out against drugs.

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Draw Something

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May 10, 2012 • 3m

3x22

Mary-Kate challenges Bodyguard to some 1am Pictionary.

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The Case of the Cracked Cup (Very Maggie Smith 2)

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May 24, 2012 • 2m

3x23

When Maggie Smith’s teacup goes handle-less, everyone’s a suspect.

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Summer House

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Season Finale

May 31, 2012 • 3m

3x24

Mary-Kate gets lost indoors and has to crack out her survival skills.

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Manicure

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January 24, 2013 • 2m

4x1

Mary-Kate’s nail art should hang in a museum.

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Lost in Translation

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January 31, 2013 • 3m

4x2

Mary-Kate makes a French connection.

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Breaking Up

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February 7, 2013 • 3m

4x3

Mary-Kate is torn between her muscleman and her Frenchman.

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Dinner with Hoffman

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February 14, 2013 • 3m

4x4

The Oscar creeper sabotages Mary-Kate and Sarkozy’s date.

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Instagram

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February 21, 2013 • 2m

4x5

Who wants daiquiris??? #nofilter

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Evaluations

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March 7, 2013 • 3m

4x6

Mary-Kate writes her teacher evaluations, and Fat Professor forms a rebuttal.

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Shrooms

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March 13, 2013 • 3m

4x7

Mary-Kate and Jewish-Looking Girl trip into friendship.

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Conference Call

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March 21, 2013 • 3m

4x8

Mary-Kate needs help with a homework assignment, and enlists the help of everyone she knows.

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Drinking Game

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March 28, 2013 • 3m

4x9

Mary-Kate creates her own drinking game, and quickly gets sick of it.

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Bad Connection

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April 11, 2013 • 3m

4x10

Bodyguard and Mary-Kate’s relationship takes a turn for the staticky.

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Presentation 5

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April 18, 2013 • 3m

4x11

Mary-Kate gives a presentation about the Wig Party.

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Diamonds Are My Only Friends

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Season Finale

April 25, 2013 • 3m

4x12

We don't have an overview translated in English. Help us expand our database by adding one.

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Very Mary-Kate (2010)

Elaine Carroll — Writer

Episodes 82

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