The rest is history.

Who truly understands the difference between a joke, a prank, and a lie?

Why finish the story you started when you could do literally anything else?

Great enough to satisfy even the biggest fans.

Everything I’ve ever read about average penis size leads me to believe some of you may be lying.

Tax season is upon us, and it’s time to reconsider your politics… unless you don’t make six figures.

On this blessed 4/20, all the good little stoners wake up to dank gifts & ganja from the Weed Man.

As a woman of color, it’s your job to talk only about that & nothing else you’ve ever accomplished.

Try Realistic Dream Phone to find even more emotionally unavailable guys to maybe talk to!

You’ve been drinking literal beetle juice.

The radical new way to slurp your mayo is totally tubular (as in, it’s a tube).

If you didn’t want to see a show, why did you come to the theater?

Nobody needs to hear a 30-year-old reminisce on their experiences in a high school play.

Here you’ll find all the potions, poisons, & chai you could never want.

It’s time to move on from your dependency, until you find the next TV show you can’t trust.

She wants you to eat ALL OF IT.

He’s a war profiteer who pays less in taxes than his secretary.

Do you dare call your feminine content nerdy? The Council of Nerdy Things is here to decide.

How can white people be expected to remember things that aren’t other white people?

Know exactly where someone’s plagiarized personality and bad takes came from, with Shazam for BS!

George R.R. Martin better start looking for a new gig, because Bran can do beautiful flip kicks now.

A heartwarming tale of… terrible people?

Technology has always been scary and evil.

You control this narrative, and you’re still the villain of it.

Freezing inside, boiling outside: you never get to be comfortable!

College is about exploring, from sex to sewing a man’s head to a dog.

Garbage is what it is, and that’s where it belongs.

If you can scrounge for it in the trash like a little raccoon, it’s not worth buying in a store.

Some light spanking would really get this hostage situation going.