1). Never buy a house that is next door to a cemetery. 2). When you're flying an airplane, make sure that the plane has steering wheels in the cockpit. 3).When you're flying your spacecraft over Hollywood, make sure that you go by the ABC, NBC, and CBS buildings.
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Reply by Maria Kelly
on March 16, 2017 at 11:19 PM
5) It's hard to take aliens who buy their clothes from a Lord Of The Rings thrift shop seriously. 6) The best way to kill an obese zombie is to sneak up behind him and hit him over the head with a tree branch.
Reply by Maria Kelly
on March 26, 2017 at 11:38 PM
7)Don't use your gun to scratch your face. 8) Never trust a leader of an extraterrestrial planet who wears WAY too much eyeshadow.
Reply by Maria Kelly
on April 11, 2017 at 12:22 AM
9)Never use a shower curtain to separate the cockpit and the passenger section. It's just too tacky.
Reply by Maria Kelly
on April 15, 2017 at 9:38 PM
10)If the US government tells you NOT to talk to ANYONE about the UFO you saw, go ahead and tell your wife about it .
11)The best way for a police officer to investigate a disturbed grave is to jump into it carrying a lit match.
12)If there's one thing a US Army General cannot stand, it's aliens who send audiotapes that go on, and on, and on....
13)In San Fernando, California, it can be day and night AT THE SAME TIME!
Reply by Maria Kelly
on April 22, 2017 at 11:52 AM
14)Some zombies can stumble around wearing clean clothes, immaculately styled hair and no blood on their faces, unlike some zombies I could mention (yes, I'm talking to you, The Walking Dead).
15)If you're an exterrestial race who wants to establish a friendly relationship with the planet Earth, killing a small town with people in it, people who died, is not the way to go about it.
Reply by Maria Kelly
on April 25, 2017 at 2:28 PM
16)There are times when a man can't believe his own eyes, especially when he's drunk.
17)Don't believe ANYTHING said by a guy named Criswell.
Reply by Maria Kelly
on April 29, 2017 at 12:49 AM
18) If you're an exterrestial who wants to talk to the United Nations General Assembly, your chances of being taken seriously will be a lot better if you speak English with a sexy British accent.
19)Enough with the spaceships that look like a hubcap already!