Stan Smith uses his CIA skills to help 13-year-old son Steve win class president and the heart of the hottest girl in class, Lisa Silver. But when being class president makes Steve mad with power, Stan must jump in to save the day. Meanwhile, Roger, the alien Stan saved from Area 51, helps 18-year-old Hayley with her school paper. In return, she hooks him up with boatloads of junk food to curb his sweet tooth. Unfortunately, some Chocodiles send him over the edge and a sugar crash prohibits him from finishing one of her papers, forcing Hayley to pick up the pieces. And Klaus, the goldfish with the brain of a German guy, pines after mother Francine. Unfortunately for Klaus, the closest he'll ever get to a date with her is the spin cycle with her sports bra.

Stan Smith is mad because after getting his wife a job (or "hobby") as a Real Estate agent, she makes more money than him. In the meantime, his daughter Hayley ran a program that helped the homeless, and Stan's son Steve had an idea to have a Bum Fight program. To get back and to try to gain more money than his wife, Stan takes Steve's idea and starts a Bum Fight Night where he takes bets and treats the homeless like wrestlers. But with the homeless petition, Stan has to end up fighting like a homeless man himself.

Hayley comes home from a Green Party rally with her hair dyed green, instigating a fight with Stan. While she's sleeping, Stan cuts her hair (for her own good, of course). After learning of what Stan did, a wigged Hayley defies her father yet again by moving into the van of her new boyfriend. When Stan cuts her off financially, she gets a job as a waitress in a strip club, which pushes Stan right off the edge. Meanwhile, Steve tries to pass Roger off as his disfigured sister in order to cop a feel with a female classmate.

When Stan forgets his anniversary, he arranges to have 20 hours of Francine's memory erased, but the CIA temp on duty accidentally erases 20 years. Francine, having reverted to her wild child days, moves into her old apartment with Hayley as a roommate, and ends up going to a festival with Hayley's boyfriend. Meanwhile, Steve asks a good-looking girl out, but needs his wingman, Roger, to "jump on a grenade" for him and date her ugly cousin.

After Stan is prosecuted for sending contaminated cattle to a slaughterhouse, he says that it began as a quest to make a man out of Steve. Meanwhile, Roger sparks a cat fight between Francine and Hayley, for reasons of his own.

Francine and Stan swap spouses with their gay neighbours Terry and Greg when Terry's dad, a former football player who doesn't know that his son is gay, arrives for a visit. Meanwhile, Steve goes on a drunken bender.

Steve is left home as the family plan a trip to Boston hoping to locate a college for Hayley. When his friends arrive they convince him to break the rules, resulting in them finding the controls to a military drone in Stan's study.

Meanwhile, after Stan leaves the plane to return home for his painkillers, Roger changes disguise from a little girl to a Stan constume so he can get served alcohol. When an air marshal notices that the girl is missing, he grounds the plane and investigates.

Steve must become the man of the house when Stan re-lives his childhood.

Upset that Francine has let herself go, Stan takes drastic measures when she asks him to renew their wedding vows.

Upset that Hayley no longer wants his advice, Stan decides to prove that she is missing out on his sage counseling. After meeting a stripper on an important CIA mission, Stan takes it upon himself to improve her life and show Hayley that his advice works. But when he opens a new business, hoping to prove Hayley wrong, he finds himself dancing for cash to cover up his failures.

When Stan gets told by Francine to get rid of his gas-guzzling SUV, he and Roger hatch up a plan at the local horse track to avoid losing his car. Meanwhile, Steve and his friends help an old friend.

Stan gives Francine "love coupons" for Valentine's Day, but refuses to honor them once he becomes preoccupied with his very own CIA cyborg. Meanwhile, Roger helps Steve and his friends remake a classic '80s movie.

Wanting to have the scariest haunted house on the block, Stan comes up with a ''killer'' setup; Steve competes to win the heart of his overprotective friend's younger sister.

With a flair for the dramatic, Roger invites Stan to attend one of his acting classes.

However, tempers flare when they both audition for the same role, leaving them to duke it out for top dog.

Meanwhile, Steve and his friends get into a pillow fight when they try to plan the greatest slumber party ever.

When Steve has trouble crossing over into the "cool kids" social circle, Klaus and Roger place their bets to see how quickly Roger can make him cool. Everything they try backfires until Steve becomes the in-crowds designated driver. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine take turns pranking each other.

After Snot professes his love for Hayley and gets shot down, Steve and Roger devise a plan to cheer him up. Roger dresses up as Steve’s cousin from New Jersey, Jenny Fromdabloc, and Snot falls hard for her. Meanwhile, Stan wants to live like a gentleman of the 1960s, complete with dark suits and dry martinis.

Stan and Francine fight over how to redecorate the house. It goes so far that they split the house down the middle and try to live without each other. Meanwhile, Principal Lewis discovers a talent of Barry.

Francine thinks Stan spends too much time with his friends; a boy band recruits Steve and his friends for a music video.

When Stan invites his recently widowed mother to move in, she and Roger fall in love and wed; Steve and his friends find a lost movie script.

When Steve's baby sitter is unavailable, Stan and Francine decide to leave him with Hayley; Steve sneaks out to a party to prove he's not a goody-goody.

Francine tries to rig the school spelling bee so that Steve will win; Stan and Roger try to rush Hayley's grieving process so she will be available to judge their badminton game.

Thwarted in their efforts to secure dates for the upcoming high school prom, Steve and Snot turn to the CIA’s cloning machine to churn out two willing ladies. But, when the device produces two uber-fast-growing newborn babies, the boys must break out their fathering skills to ready them in time for prom night. Meanwhile, Stan takes home the CIA’s cloned pet, Daren the Dodo, with disastrous consequences.

In a desperate attempt to show Steve that she's still a "cool" mom, Francine teaches him a vast array of shoplifting techniques to try out at the local mall. B when their attempt to pull off the ultimate heist at "The Gash" goes awry, Steve is captured and sent to a Venezuelan sweatshop. Meanwhile, Roger, Hayley and Klaus form Langley Falls' first Russian Balalaika trio.

Determined to get Snot to confront his emotions after his father passes away, Steve and friends embark on an epic cross-country road trip to the funeral. But Steve's commitment to his friend wavers when he falls for a Pixie Dream Girl along the way. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger invent an automatic cake-cutter for the Home Shopping Network, but their partnership is tested when they only make a "verbal agreement" to split the profits.

Roger forges a radical plan to help Steve date the hot girl at school. Roger will switch faces with Steve "Face/Off"-style, seduce her, then tag Steve back in after she's fallen for him. But, Roger soon decides he may actually want to keep her for himself. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine become "Charlie's Angels"-type airline stewardesses to thwart an evil plan by Mark Cuban who wants to blow up the sun.

Stan is frustrated that Steve and his friends never play outside, but Francine refuses to let Stan take the kids to the woods for some outdoor fun. Of course, Stan finds a loophole, by drugging the kids and putting them on the CIA's holodeck, which, naturally, goes awry. Meanwhile, Hayley buys Roger's home star on the International Star Registry and claims she's now his queen.

Roger is forced to sell his beloved attic bar to a restaurant chain after suffering a heart attack, and a sexy new next-door neighbor promises to take Steve and his friends’ virginity in return for housework.

Steve and Snot are fed up with being bullied. When they enroll in a karate class, Snot is brainwashed by the sensei, and it's Steve's mission to get him back. Meanwhile, Klaus develops a horrible odor and is forced to be an outside pet.

Steve joins the high school water polo team to get girls. Meanwhile, Roger and Stan get a boat.

Hayley mentally regresses to a 6-year-old. Steve and his pals get a slow cooker.

Steve and Snot alter their futures when they throw a party for the uncool kids. Meanwhile, Roger is disgruntled when a waitress doesn't compliment his order.

Francine joins in on Steve and his pals' live-action role-playing game. Stan opens a knock-off Seaworld in the house.

Steve becomes a pilot.

Steve and his friends take up witchcraft to gain power and popularity at school. Stan and Klaus become obsessed with remembering 90s bands.

Klaus gets transferred into the navigation system of Stan's car when Stan refuses to pay for life-saving surgery; Steve and his friends prank Roger, who then terrorizes them for revenge.

Steve becomes the town pariah after he convinces the star quarterback of the Bazooka Sharks arena football team to stop playing. Meanwhile, Roger forces Hayley to become a cab driver to pay him back for her gambling debts.

Roger and Klaus start having a secret affair after they accidentally end up on an online date together. Meanwhile, Steve tries to catch Hayley's pink eye to get out of doing a fitness test at school.

Roger becomes a marionette and injures other students to help Steve win the school talent show. Meanwhile, Stan, Hayley and Klaus start their own local honey business.

Roger turns his attention to Steve's friend Snot who teaches him about Hanukkah, prompting him to convert to Judaism. Roger then decides to make Hanukkah more popular than Christmas by stealing Santa's powers, and becoming Schmanta Claus.

Stan and Hayley compete in collecting data for the US Census; Klaus has Steve and his friends model for his new camera.

Steve tries to get into baseball to connect with Stan. Roger creates real life drama for Francine after her favorite soap opera is cancelled.

Roger breaks up Steve's friendship with Snot, Barry and Toshi. Jeff realizes he has a flair for house flipping and gets Stan, Francine and Hayley involved.

Steve goes undercover as a school hall monitor; Roger and Stan go catatonic after witnessing a grisly escalator accident.

Thanks to Roger, Snot discovers his dead father was a demolition derby driver. Hayley takes Steve on a road trip, so he can learn to drive.

Klaus leaves the family after one too many harassments. 15 years later, they reconnect for his funeral.

Steve and the boys take part in a prison experiment to earn some cash. Meanwhile, Stan deals with the death of his CIA groundskeeper friend.

Steve's efforts to befriend a Swedish exchange student backfire in a big way; The family calls in an animal behaviorist to deal with Klaus.

Steve wants to know about the Smith Family heritage, but Stan refuses to indulge him. Stan is obsessed with being American and tells Steve that being American is all that matters. Steve steals Stan's DNA for an at-home DNA test and discovers that they are Canadian. Steve rejoices in finally knowing his heritage, but the news devastates Stan.

Stan gets in over his head trying to impress Toshi's dad; Klaus and Jeff head to the country for a weekend getaway.

Steve and Snot's friendship gets put to the test when their mothers start to fight.

To have a chance with a girl, Steve and Snot must track down a keg of 4Loko.