Reed and Malloy have a gun pulled on them after stopping a car that turns out to be stolen, but the contents of the trunk link the two suspects to an even more sinister crime. Afterward, a recently widowed father and his teenage daughter report that their home has just been toilet papered, which ends up being a prelude for a much more serious incident.

Over the course of their shift, Malloy and Reed deal with a racist gas station owner who is tired of being the victim of repeated robberies. When they catch the suspect, supposedly a black man, they find he is actually just an equally-racist white man in blackface. Other calls include a hitchhiker who extorts money from drivers she leaves in embarrassing situations, and a drunk who is seeing pink elephants.

Malloy and Reed are patrolling the outskirts of Los Angeles when a girl on horseback alerts them to a small plane that landed in a secluded area. When the officers investigate, they see a pickup truck fleeing and the plane trying to take off; though they stop the plane, they have no proof the pilot did anything. Malloy and Reed later learn from the DEA that a Mexican cartel is behind the landings, with the pilot instructed to play dumb if caught. The officers find the pilot and trace the pickup truck's location, and the truck is followed to the landing site, where the smuggler and the pilot are arrested.

Reed and Malloy rush an 8-year old to Rampart Emergency Hospital, where he is diagnosed with diabetes. Scared of the hospital, Jimmy runs off, and it's up to Reed and Malloy to find him before he goes into a diabetic coma. Elsewhere, Malloy's new girlfriend, Cathy, mans a hospital telephone hotline. Sherry, a 15-year old junkie, is threatening suicide to escape her troubled life. Malloy and Reed need to find her fast, before she OD's.

A hotel janitor (and wino) named Harry witnesses a murder in a hotel room, but refuses to talk until Reed shows him compassion and respect, both of which are lacking from his family and friends, but his testimony is clouded by his alcoholic past. Malloy relives his childhood by telling the story of his chaperoning a junior high dance.

During Malloy's birthday, he lets Reed know he does not enjoy surprise parties, but becomes increasingly suspicious and believes the others are actually planning a surprise party, much to his chagrin; it is soon revealed that is not the case. Meanwhile, Sgt. MacDonald warns the officers about a rash of robberies using milk crates to break store windows; during a routine traffic stop, Reed notices a milk crate in the back of a car and surreptitiously marks it for identification later, and the thief is apprehended later using the same milk crate. Calls include a backup call for a jewelry store robbery when the officers pull over the owner of said store for DUI, an embarrassed male purse snatching victim inside a negligee shop, a phony gas station worker at a closed gas station, a shootout in the police garage between the entire station and a drunk suspect officers failed to handcuff, and Officer Wells capturing a B&E suspect based on a hunch by Malloy.

Malloy and Reed encounter an armed private investigator from out of state, who is in Los Angeles to find a bail jumper. Later the PI is in the middle of an altercation with two black men, one of which is injured; the PI claims the men tried to rob him, but the men tell a different story, and Sgt. MacDonald orders the PI arrested. The PI is found roughing up the bail jumper and is arrested. Calls include an elderly man wanting a group of cars driven by hippies ticketed for illegal parking, and a woman who demands the officers ticket her husband's car because he refuses to replace the balding tires on it.

Malloy and Reed have to wear their long-sleeved uniforms despite a hot forecast, then learn they could have changed to short sleeves but missed the radio notification. Calls include the search for a bicycle pump that contains drugs, a woman experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the dealer and the pump up the street, a man complaining about his grass being trampled during his neighbor's yard sale (which had stolen property taken by the neighbor "on consignment") leads to the discovery of the burglar, who then provides a tip on a murder suspect.

Malloy and Reed are called to a hotel to stop a woman's suicide attempt; while there, they learn of a parolee there who refuses to speak with the woman because he thinks someone from the mob is after him. Later the officers are called back to the hotel because the manager wants the parolee evicted; another call to the hotel leads to shots fired from the parolee, who was having delusions the mob was after him. In another case, the officers offer assistance to a man whose extremely damaged car simply needed a tire change; the man and his car are later the suspects in a robbery, and detectives arrest the man with the officers' help.

Malloy and Reed arrest a seemingly less-fortunate woman for shoplifting items for her baby, but she escapes from custody during a disruption at the station; the officers later learn the woman and her husband actually stole the baby, as they could not have one of their own. After finding the woman at a landlord-tenant dispute, they learn the woman's husband stole his car, and that the manager supposedly made an extortion call demanding $2,000 for the baby. The officers pursue and eventually catch the husband at a rail yard. Another call results in Reed briefly being held at gunpoint by a burglary suspect; Reed manages to trick the suspect and signal Malloy for help.

Malloy and Reed are given an older cruiser with 300 miles to go until retirement. They quickly learn the car is extremely unreliable and barely works: the accelerator surges, the glove compartment door constantly drops on Reed's knees, the water hose breaks while they are sneaking up on a prowler suspect (actually just a man who once lived there), their malfunctioning taillights prevent them from writing a ticket to a citizen whose car had the same problem, the distributor cap fails when trying to respond to another call, and finally, after capturing a pursuit suspect, the car's brakes fail and the unmanned car totals itself on a light pole. Another call regarding a truck loading up at a warehouse leads to the arrest of a large group of organized burglars after Malloy notices a slight discrepancy in their otherwise foolproof plan.