A riotous episode in which Hawkeye will do anything to get a new pair of boots: In order to get Zale to get him some, he must get an appointment for Zale with Futterman, the camp dentist, who will only do it if Henry will give him a pass to Tokyo, and Henry will only grant the pass if Houlihan will get off his back, which she will do only if the guys throw a party for Frank's birthday, with a cake, and Radar will only help get the cake if he gets a date with Nurse Murphy, who will only date someone with a hair dryer, and Klinger won't give up the hair dryer unless he gets a section 8 (and Frank won't sign). Inevitably, the deal falls through, much to the Hawkeye's chagrin.

Camp activities include Henry's nervous delivery of a sex lecture, with Hawkeye's and Trapper's heckling, a Shirley Temple movie, and a cookout.

Hawkeye and Trapper prevent a GI from marrying a call girl who has TB, whilst trying to help a Korean soldier join his pregnant wife. Radar, of course, provides his usual invaluable help.

Frank buys two sets of pearls, one for Margaret and one for his wife. After some talk, Radar gets Hawkeye $3,000 in lost earnings, Hawkeye gives it to Mulcahy for the orphans, but then the army wants the money back. Trapper wins big at poker after using Hawkeye's watch as a stake, so Hawkeye takes his winnings to avoid a stay in the honeymoon suite of The Stockade Hilton.

Hawkeye tangles with a tough Army colonel, Colonel Spiker, B.J. helps Zale, who's received a "Dear John" letter, and Frank looks endlessly for Korean saboteurs.

Frank has a fever and makes a will, leaving all his money to his wife and all his clothes to Hot Lips.

Frank has Hawkeye up on charges of mutiny, for usurping his authority when Potter was away on leave, and Frank was the C.O. The Judge Advocate, Colonel Carmichael, tries the case; BJ, Potter, and Radar are in attendance of the preliminary hearing to offer support for Hawkeye. There are several versions of what happened: according to Frank, he was trying to hold the 4077th together during heavy casualties when everyone else was falling apart; according to The Eye Of The Hawk, BJ and Radar, it was Frank who was out of control with his regimen. Finding no evidence of the alleged mutiny, the judge drops all charges against Hawkeye and puts Frank in his place (but will he stay there?!).

Following an offer of promotion made by Master Sergeant Woodruff at a poker game, Radar is promoted to the rank of lieutenant. Finding this position awkward, Radar opts to return to his position as an enlisted man.

A former star college football player suffers a severe leg injury in combat and must deal with the consequences, and Major Burns goes behind Colonel Potter's back to set up a boxing match between Klinger and Zale.

The 4077th, caught up in tension and nerves, creates a bonfire to release their pressure. Meanwhile, Sidney Freedman is depressed over a young soldier who blames him for his injuries, because Freedman had sent him back into combat.

Charles plans a scheme to get rich when he discovers that blue scrip is going to be exchanged for red. Hawkeye and B.J. outsmart him, and he is left holding the worthless scrip. Klinger tries to get into West Point so that he can get out of Korea.

After Charles hands B.J. two hundred dollars, he begins to take advantage. Everyone gets together and persuades Charles to play poker. He has incredible beginner's luck until Radar discovers that Charles whistles loudly when he bluffs. They all win back their money and then some.

In need of a special surgical clamp, Hawkeye and B.J. hire Mr. Shin, a local jewelry dealer, to make it. Days later the clamp is used to save the leg of a wounded soldier. Mr. Shin goes into the surgical supply business.

With the arrival of a shipment of records, Radar plays the part of a disc jockey and helps to get everyone through the incredibly long deluge of wounded.

When bad reports are filed at headquarters, Col. Potter contemplates retirement.

As the temperatures reach triple digits, Hawkeye and BJ recieve their new rubber bathtub from Abercrombie & Fitch. However, soon the whole camp is hot under the collar as word leaks out about the tub and everyone wants a dip, except for Klinger, who is trying to get his Section 8 by wearing a fur coat.

Heavy casualties are arriving, creating severe problems for the M*A*S*H unit because they are nearly out of Pentothal. Mulcahy takes up a collection from everyone - including a case of wine from Charles' private supply - and he and Charles take the jeep to make a trade with the black marketers for Pentothal.

B.J. almost becomes the surrogate father to a Korean family. Finding them a substitute for his own absent family, B.J. spends so much time with them that his medical efficiency begins to suffer, and Hawkeye worries about his health. B.J.: "First they take me from my wife and kid, and just when I find something to help fill the gap, they take that away, too."

The 4077th is confronted by two crises: Colonel Potter's mare, Sophie, mysteriously disappears from her corral, and Hawkeye and B.J. find themselves with a young Korean boy on their hands, who is trying to avoid conscription into the Army.

On leave in Tokyo, Radar is desperately needed back at the crisis-stricken 4077th, but his return is delayed by outside events. While casualties continue to pour in from the front, the 4077th's generator conks out, and the backup has been stolen, depriving the medical unit of all electrical power. But Klinger, filling in for the vacationing Radar, lacks the expertise and experience to wheel and deal for a new machine.