Ted, Dougal and Jack go on an all-expenses-spared holiday to Kilkelly Caravan Park. They meet a young couple, and are soon in trouble with the police. Entertainment comes in the shape of St Kevin's Stump and the Magic Road. Father Jack goes missing; Father Noel Furlong and his youth group turn up to put the final nail in the coffin of the holiday.

Ted and co. end up crammed in an aeroplane along with every other priest who has appeared in their lives after a visit to the Shrine of Kinlettle. In a usual fit of stupidity, Dougal manages to empty the fuel tanks on the plane. To make matters worse, there are only two parachutes, so Ted devises a way for the priests to compete for the parachutes. Unfortunately, Jack has other plans.

A perfectly routine trip to the mainland results in Dougal almost dying from malnutrition, Mrs Doyle being chucked in the clink, Ted nearly being beaten up by Victor Meldrew, and Father Jack joining Alcoholics Anonymous. A chance encounter with old friends Noel Furlong and the St. Luke's Youth Group in some spooky caves spells spelaeological trouble for our heroes.