Do you have the feeling you have read this before ? You probably have. It's RADIO TIMES blurb no 1678 - fill in name as required.

It's not every day a show like this takes to the air. No, just on Thursdays, so you've got the rest of the week free. I mean, we could be on every night, then where would you be ? But I know you love the show and so do I. You see, I'm always out on Thursday night, so you're on your own.

Hi! Kenny Everett here with a personal message to all you out there in viewing land! Now, I don't want to prejudice you in any way about tonight's show but please remember I love animals and children and I have mortgaged my house and my wife so that you can see tonight's show in colour. The BBC thought black and white was more me but I fought them to the last bribe. So why not watch me - gentleman, scholar and all round good egg - tonight. (Do you think they'll swallow that ?)