After losing £20,000 to Andrew Lloyd Webber in a celebrity poker game, Toast finds himself being hunted by musical superstar and part-time theatre-land enforcer, Michael Ball. Needing cash quick, a desperate Toast agrees to dub some gay art house porn. When his nemesis, Ray Purchase, catches him in bed with his wife again, Toast is caught up in a life or death showdown with both Purchase and Ball on the stage of his appalling play... Meanwhile his agent, Jane Plough, thinks he may have won the role of James Bond, if he survives.

Toast is intrigued to find that Ed is entering a Celebrities and Prostitutes Blow Football Tournament. It's an annual event organized by Ed's showbiz charity, The River Rats. Ed suggests that Toast enter too. Toast accepts the invitation, and as he is 'fiercely competitive in everything', soon becomes obsessed with winning the tournament.

A return to the West End stage in the legendary 'whodunnit' play "The Moosetrap" is seriously jeopardised when Toast reveals the killer's identity in a radio interview.

After the tragic death of his friend Axel Jacklin, Britain's finest exponent of acting in high winds, Toast finds himself in demand for dramatic roles.

Live on chat show Lorraine Toast tells a tale that could not only topple the US Government but also destroy the entire world. Meanwhile, he's got an outdoor production of Macbeth to prepare for.

With the promise of a potential role in Kevin Spacey's House of Cards, Toast takes part in a Royal Variety Performance hosted by Bob Monkhouse.

When Toast begs Jane to get him in at the Globe Theatre, he's less than impressed with the director, Daz Klondyke, who's rumoured to be the hottest thing in UK theatre. However when he's cast in Klondyke's all-dog version of Twelfth Night, it's not long before Toast gets his fingers burnt as he tries to become a real actor.