Sid decides to enter a songwriting competition with his un-acknowledged classic "You Can Have My Welks and Cockles But Leave My Winkles Alone."

The trouble starts with Sid's morning paper - Sid wants to do the crossword and Jean wants to read her horoscope. Not that she really believes it - unless it turns out right.

Sid brings home an old wodden chair, but there's something wrong with it. Meanwhile, Mike's dancer girlfriend comes to stay, but Mike doesn't explain what sort of dancer she is.

Sid isn't too fond of Mike and Sally's latest scheme to raise some money for a holiday.

Sid is shocked when Jean tells him she wants a lover!

Sid's efforts to avoid 'The Pirates of Penzance' lead him into trouble with a pot of paint and a policeman. And then Travor brings in the Japanese...

What should a husband do if his family give him a birthday present he can't use?

Sid doesn't like the idea of Sally and Mike befriending a tramp. He likes it even less when Sally brings him home and everyone takes the tramp's side.

Family weddings aren't Sid's idea of a good time, but he'll put up with them as long as there's a booze-up.