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A review by Andres Gomez

30%
Written by Andres Gomez on February 22, 2016

Honestly, it has been a long time since I've watched such a bad movie.

The script is just ... stupid and the dialogues even worse. The characters are not believable. I mean, when you watch Twilight, you just swallow the whole thing because it is fantasy and ... OK, it is just a stupid vampires story but, this is just toooooooo bad.

I've not read the book but I suspect the fail is not just in the movie but that it is adapting something that is already bad from the beginning.

The worst is that I kind of liked Dornan in his role in Fallen but this movie has made me realize what a short ra... read the rest.

A review by GenerationofSwine

100%
Written by GenerationofSwine on January 13, 2023

My fiance is a big fan of the movies...and I only mention that because she is worse than me when it comes to sniffing out mainstream erotica. So, you know, totally hit her radar.

On my end, I brought the book at LAX one night to read on a layover, and I stopped when Grey picked up his phone to call for a helicopter and started using trucker jargon. "Breaker, breaker, two-nine..." NO! Not reading any more!

I honestly didn't even want to watch the movie after encountering that.

However, let's be honest, you aren't sitting down to watch the film because of dialogue or plot.

You're watc... read the rest.

A review by CinemaSerf

50%
Written by CinemaSerf on June 3, 2024

Now I never read the book, and the DVD of this has been sitting in a box for years until recently when, discovering it did actually get both an Oscar and a Grammy nomination, I thought I would give it a go. It's all about "Anastasia" (Dakota Johnson) who goes to interview hunky gazillionaire "Christian" (Jamie Dornan) in his plush office. A bit of flirting ensues as he makes it quite clear that he is interested - but boy, is she in for a surprise when she discovers that all belts and braces does actually having another meaning (as does butt-plug!). What now follows is, I felt, a really tame exe... read the rest.

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