Jenny decides it’s time to finish with Alec; she just needs to work out how. Meanwhile, Simon shocks everyone by announcing he’s going to quit his job and fly to South America—on Saturday.

A new term and a new teacher, in the (rather large) shape of Lindsay. She can outdrink the boys, and Brian in particular thinks she’s brilliant, until Kurt convinces him that she fancies him.

There’s something disturbing in the air. A stranger, with a sinister beard, is lurking by the perimeter fence. But it turns out that he’s not so strange after all.

The teachers are depressed that none of them is in a functional relationship, until Liz points out that Brian and Kurt are as good as married. But Brian thinks that Kurt is taking advantage of him.

Penny makes a pass at Ewan, but it all ends in humiliation. Meanwhile, Ben is ordered to babysit some pensioners who are visiting the school which forces him to confront his own prejudices.

The school is trashed after the Christmas party, the teachers are hungover, Bob is getting married in the playground—and the Ofsted Inspector is due. Happy Christmas, everyone!