Eddie and Richie join Mrs. Lineker's Love Bureau hoping to find their perfect women. Richies video tells the viewers that he is, in fact, a Duke and this gets him a date with a countess from Moldavia. He invites her to his place and arranges for Eddie to pretend to be his butler for the evening.

The boys' television has been repossessed and they are at a complete loss, they cannot find anything to keep them occupied, they have tried to do the crossword. Richie decides to challenge Eddie to a game of chess, even though they don't have all the pieces in their set! They decide to improvise and use various odd items to replace the missing pieces.

A burglar breaks into Richie and Eddies place and manages to get caught by them. Once they have him tied up they have to decide what to do with him and the loot he has stolen from other houses.

Richie and Eddie are taken to the Police station to take part in an identity parade and find themselves in an argument with a Falklands war veteran over their participation in the war.

Eddie and Richie celebrate Christmas by inviting Spudgun and Dave Hedgehog around for Christmas dinner and a day of fun and games.

After a knock at the door Richie finds a baby left on their doorstep. Due to a few misperceptions Richie believes the baby is the Second Coming of Jesus.