Car-boot sales, pigeon droppings, illegal substances and ping-pong enthusiasts may, to the casual observer, seem somewhat unconnected. However, all four seemingly disparate elements converge in one day, resulting in quite an eventful and particularly miserable time for Vince.

Vince attempts to go on holiday leaving Errol alone in the flat with strict instructions not to water the plant. He heads to the travel agents to buy a ticket not caring where he goes as long as it costs £50 and takes off before 1.30pm. Things don't go to plan.

Vince wakes up surrounded by the debris of a night out. As his eyes focus, he spies a piece of pub furniture he took home ""for a laugh"". Errol is reluctant to help him return it for fear of being caught handling stolen goods and is unconvinced by Vince's explanation that it's not stealing if you're drunk.

Vince applies for the job as manager of the swimming pool. Errol thinks his chances are slim: spilt beer on the application form and a lack of any qualifications whatsoever do not make him a particularly strong candidate.

Errol has become irresistible to the ladies and none of them believes his claims of having a girlfriend. He is also worried about Vince who seems depressed, so he contacts Vince's dad. Does Errol really have a girlfriend? Will Vince's dad come round? Will Vince let him in?